I always feel like the holidays are an awful time. Family's fake like they really do enjoy seeing eachother. Don't get me wrong, your family might actually like eachother. In my case, everyone talks about eachother behind their backs and then smiles to their face... even get drunk together.... I mean I guess most people get along then.
Tomorrow I go see my family and it's kind of surreal. This is probably my grandma's last Christmas ever. They're already talking about who gets what. I think they've already started planning the funeral. It's just something we're all expecting so soon. It's just weird to think that she could be gone soon. She's in horrible shape though.
I think I'm really going to try to cherish tomorrow. Or at least try to. My one cousin who will be there I actually enjoy. He's pretty cool. A junior at Joshua. I dunno. The people who start the party before they get there won't be here this year.
So it's def been like a year since I wrote anything in here. Kind of crazy I guess. A lot has happened. It's been a growing year for sure. I feel as if now, going into my second semester at A&M, I've finally found my group of friends that'll always be there for me. It's a good feeling to know I have this now. I'm really hoping that this next semester will mirror this past one.
Another thing that is looking up is how I feel about myself. This is something I have been dealing with since high school. The concept of fitting in and being an individual has all kind of clashed in my mind. I've gone through times where I changed myself for other people and then finally learning who I am and being okay with that. I've finally become okay with who I am. Coincidentally, I'm the happiest I've been since my senior year of high school probably. I think it's just one of those things that you have to find out on your own. If others help it becomes a disaster.
So here's to another year in life.
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